16-year-old decides to live with her dad because her mom forced her to share a bedroom with her 7 and 10-year-old half sisters: 'My mom told me I'm destroying so many of my relationships with my childish brain.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 16, 2025 11:00 AM EST

She has the chance for more privacy, and she's going to take it.

If you didn't grow up having to share a bedroom into your teens, you have no idea what that experience is actually like. Sharing a bedroom with your little sister is pretty untraumatic when you're five, and your sister is three, but as you age, it can be a real pain to basically never have a moment alone, even when you're sleeping. Having your own bedroom is undoubtedly a privilege when you're a child, so if you're one of those kids who grew up not having to beg your brother to be quiet at 2 AM, you're a lucky duck. 

There are certainly levels to sharing a room with siblings. It's much easier to share a room when you're only a couple of years apart from your sibling. If you're a teenager sharing a room with kids who are still in Elementary school, it can make an already fraught sibling relationship even more challenging to manage. You can't force siblings to be close just by putting them in the same bedroom. 

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  • The mom in this story is devastated that her teenage daughter wants to move in with her dad because she no longer wants to share a bedroom with her younger half-sisters. Anyone with even a passing knowledge of children, teenagers, bedrooms, and family dynamics would understand why this girl wants to move out.

  • Bored teenager schoolgirl learning online indoors at home
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I wrong for deciding to live with my dad because I'm tired of fighting with mom and the expectation to always make things fair or save experiences for my half siblings?

    My parents had me (16f) in college and they broke up before I was even born. Both have played an active role in my life. They shared custody of me, as in 50-50
    via u/Kaylihu
  • custody, until a few months ago when I decided I wanted to live with my dad and pull back from my mom and my stepfamily.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • For years my mom and I have fought for 90% of the weeks I was with her. I hated sharing a room with two of my half sisters and my mom hated that I hated sharing. She would tell me loads of kids share and she'd ask me why I'd be fine with sleepovers at my friends
    via u/Kaylihu
  • houses but not sharing a room with my half sisters. We'd fight that dad would buy me things and I'd keep them at his house instead of bringing them to share with my half siblings. We'd fight if I went anywhere with dad without either
    via u/Kaylihu
  • a) inviting my half siblings along or b) without checking to see if my mom and stepdad wanted to take us all there first. Even a trip to the beach was like a huge fucking deal. She'd always say I should make sure things were fair between me and my half siblings.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • In the last four years those fights got worse because my dad would take me and my friends places for my birthday. This year it was Aquatica and my mom was pissed that my half siblings weren't invited but my friends were. I didn't want my half siblings there. I
    via u/Kaylihu
  • wanted my friends. My half siblings would have been a burden on the day because they're younger than me and my friends and they're not dad's kids and he hasn't any kind of relationship with them so it would have been
    via u/Kaylihu
  • miserable trying to figure out what to do with them and it was meant to be my birthday. The final fight was when I bought a room divider so I could have privacy in the room at my mom's house and she went nuts and told
    via u/Kaylihu
  • my me I should have asked for permission and found out if half sisters were okay with it first. I told her I deserved privacy and she told me I didn't deserve it when I act like it's torture to be in the same room as my half sisters in the first place. She said it's meant to
    via u/Kaylihu
  • Woman with black hair smiling
    via engin akyurt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • make us closer and I'm trying to wall them off. She called me a brat and she told me she knew what dad's house was like and how selfish I am to hoard so much stuff there. She didn't say how she knew but she was pissed enough that she told me I was going to be
    via u/Kaylihu
  • grounded for a month for being such a brat. I told her I was done and was going to live with my dad. She told me I couldn't and that it would disrupt the household too much if I moved out for good and I told her it was going to happen eventually because I'm not going
    via u/Kaylihu
  • to share a room with kids when I'm 18+. My parents already had it in their court order that I could choose where to live once I'm 16.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • A wooden gavel sitting on top of a wooden table
    via Yunus Tuğ (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I'm glad to live with dad full time. I have seen mom three times in the last 4 months. I don't go to her house overnight and the one time I did go over for dinner I left before it was served and I told her I wasn't going back. She's mad at me and she told me I'm making
    via u/Kaylihu
  • childish decisions with my teenage brain and I'm destroying so many of my relationships with my childish brain. I told her I don't care, because I don't, which pissed her off even more. AITAH?
    via u/Kaylihu
  • AstronautClean8324 NTA. How does she expect you to become closer with your half- siblings when she's doing everything within her willpower to do the opposite of what you're telling her would help? She's ignoring boundaries. She can't expect you to take this responsibility, nor your father. They're not his kids. The comment about why your friends but not your half-siblings; you choose your friends and not your family. What does your dad think of all of this?
    via u/AstronautClean8324
  • OP Kaylihu My dad doesn't talk to me about his thoughts or feelings on this. I hope he does when I'm over 18. But he always tries to live by the "don't say negative stuff about the other parent or other family".
    via u/Kaylihu
  • Czechuspamer I see it like this: 1. Your mom put the entire responsibility of blending the family on you, and emotionally abuses you when somehow you don't magically make it work. 2. It almost feels like your mom is jealous of your dad's life, and she vents out her frustrations on you. 3. If I am correct in what I said in the previous point, it means that she feels jealous of you and angry at you, because you have access to things she cannot have. It's like she detests you because your dad can a
    via u/Czechuspamer
  • OP Kaylihu I think my mom is jealous. But I think she's also really territorial and believes she's more important because she's the mom and my dad is just my dad. She even told me before she gave me a new dad and two parent home with siblings so she couldn't understand me being closer to my dad. I don't really have a relationship with my half siblings outside what my mom tried to make it. We had very different experiences and lives and it shows in a lot of stuff.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • PoppyStaff Your mother has been in denial for years. Maybe she'll cone to her senses when she realises what she's done to you. NTA.
    via u/PoppyStaff
  • OP Kaylihu I don't know. I don't think she's capable of seeing herself as wrong in any situation. She could break something in a store and still find a way to argue that it wasn't her fault.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • thequiethunter That makes it worse. How the hell does your mother expect you to share a room with a 7 year old? Different life stages completely. Is she out of her mind? You are at a key stage of mental and emotional development as you transition to adulthood... And she wants you to be boat anchored with her 7 year old? Not acceptable. The ability to be with your own thoughts, or to have private conversations, or the different hours from school and work... I am glad you have your father to fall
    via u/thequiethunter
  • OP Kaylihu She said we're all sisters so we should have zero issue sharing. Then she told me that I should be glad I wasn't put with the other two girls who are 5 and 4.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • Czechuspamer So it's almost as if proving to your dad that you prefer her and her new family over him is far more important to her than just being there for you and caring for you. It's more important for her to "have" you (like a trophy) than to "love and support" you. Could you elaborate on those differences? I am guessing that before your mom met your stepdad, her life (and thus by extension yours) was harsher?
    via u/Czechuspamer
  • OP Kaylihu I have always known two homes, they only ever knew one. I saw my mom go from doing okay to struggling because she and my stepdad had 6 kids together and I don't think they could afford all those kids. While at dad's house I had a way easier life. Mom has always been a lot easier on them and because of that they never had the same experiences with her. I feel like my whole relationship with mom has been the two of us fighting. My half siblings never had experience with having a steppar
    via u/Kaylihu
  • thequiethunter So the 3 teenagers in one room was a bad idea. A lack of boundaries with property was bad. The expectation that your father would provide for your half-sisters was bad. The expectation that life would be fair was bad. She created a false sense of entitlement for herself and her other children. Really toxic. NTA
    via u/thequiethunter
  • OP Kaylihu My half sisters aren't teenagers. The two half sisters I share with are 10 and 7.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • Frequent_Couple5498 So you would have to be the one to wake up with him in the middle of the night if he woke up? You may have had a decent relationship with your half siblings if your mom would not have pushed and allowed you the space to form those relationships on your own. Your mom is so deeply jealous of your dad and you that she acts out ridiculously. And she seems pretty entitled too. Why would your dad have to pay for six kids that are not his. NTA
    via u/Frequent_Couple5498
  • OP Kaylihu He used to wake me up but my mom would get up with him too. It's just there was no way for me to sleep through when he was in my room or when my half sisters went into my room because they didn't sleep through the night when they first moved into the room either.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • AceDisorderliness What ages were they when you first started sharing rooms?
    via u/AceDisorderliness
  • OP Kaylihu I shared with one of my half brothers until he was 2.5 and then the oldest of my half sisters moved into my room when he got his own. So I was like 6 when I started sharing with my half brother. Because he was 1 when they moved him into what used to be my room.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • Cybermagetx That is a very good thing to do when you share custody.
    via u/Cybermagetx
  • OP Kaylihu I appreciate that I don't feel like mentioning mom is like cursing because that's what mom's house always felt like.
    via u/Kaylihu
  • Technical-Round3059 NTA, but this situation is really sad all around. Your mom clearly has unresolved issues about blending families and is putting that emotional labor on you, which isn't fair. You're a kid, not a third parent or a mediator. That said, completely cutting her off and telling her you don't care might feel good now but could make things harder long-term. You're justified in living with your dad, but I hope eventually you can set boundaries without burning the bridge entirely, for
    via u/Technical-Round3059
  • OP Kaylihu My mom is really bad at respecting boundaries so she's going to push against them anyway which is going to drive me away. When she doesn't get what she wants or what she thinks is best she can really show how disrespectful and boundary stomping she is.
    via u/Kaylihu

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family drama sharing siblings half sister raising teens dad bedroom daughter mom custody moving out
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